The Great Cheese Horoscope of 2023

15 August 2023

What to say in August? It’s a time for classic beach pastimes: crossword puzzles, sudoku, a Harmony novel, or a good detective story. We don’t include gossip magazines on the list: they’re too intellectual. And then there’s horoscopes, as we all eagerly await to know what cheese is associated with our zodiac sign!

You read that right: zodiac and cheese! And now, if you’re reading this under the August sun, get comfortable, with a chilled drink or a fresh watermelon within reach, because just reading about cheese will make you sweat like never before.

Since in the ancient scrolls of Babylon we didn’t find any connections between the zodiac and dairy, each sign is associated with the name of a cheese that starts with that letter. And let’s not hold anything against those who are lactose intolerant, they might still find something interesting in here!

The Cheese Horoscope

Aries like Agrì di Valtorta (March 21 – April 20)

Aries are bold, courageous, competitive, always up for new challenges, yet also a bit fickle, conservative at times… choosing the cheese that suits you best was a bit of a struggle.

We suggest Agrì di Valtorta, produced in the mountains with cow’s milk. A cheese with a sweet taste, aromatic and delicate aroma, to soothe your assertiveness. At the Cheese Market on Via dei Presìdi, you’ll find the Valtorta Social Dairy. Come discover it and make this little cheese your own.

And your August? You’re all aflutter… So get ready to ferment: serum-culture, milk-culture, all-natural!

Taurus like Testun ciuc (April 21 – May 20)

Dear Taurus: we greatly appreciate your connection to natural cycles, which is also reflected in your incredibly spontaneous way of expressing sensuality. We also admire your ability to focus on the important things in life and shun wastefulness.

I skimmed through a thousand names of tomes before settling on Testun ciuc, whose rind is washed and covered with nebbiolo grape skins, acquiring the characteristic wine notes. You’ll find it at this dedicated Taste Workshop.

August is a month of evaluations and reflections for you (how lovely, during what should be carefree vacations). So, it’s worth entertaining yourself with a down-to-earth dilemma: in your opinion, should cheese rinds be eaten?

Gemini like Graukase from Valle Aurina (May 21 – June 20)

Geminis! You’re highly intellectual, possessing an immense capacity to explore vastly different fields, endless curiosity, and an insatiable thirst for knowledge. So, I have something different in store for you: how about Graukäse from Valle Aurina? Perhaps the leanest of cheeses, with fat content not exceeding two percent on the dry residue. Its origin is unique, being made from milk left over from butter production, which, along with gray mountain flours and domestic pigs, formed the basis of the Tyrolean mountain diet until a few decades ago. Trying it is like traveling back in time: you’ll find it at the Cheese Market!

August is a bit stuck for you, a month where you wander here and there in search of your place in the world. We want to give you a chance to succeed in something, with little room for failure: order a wheel of cheeses, from the most delicate to the most intense – a Castelmagno, a goat cheese from Val Maira, a Piacentinu, and a Taleggio. Done? Bravo!

Cancer like Cacio di Genazzano (June 21 – July 22)

The wizard herself is a Cancer too, so when it comes to pairing, she always chooses one of her favorite cheeses (and there are many)… Anyway, the entire Zodiac knows us for being kind, sensitive, sometimes lazy, and in need of protection. Some even call us “moody,” but they’re wrong about that 1 time out of 10.

So, what cheese do I have in store for us? I want to challenge you with something new in the world of Slow Food Presidia, the Cacio di Genazzano, a Slow Food Presidium, one of the historic pecorinos of the Roman province. Made from raw sheep’s milk, it’s a semi-cooked fatty cheese with a smooth, thin but rather hard rind and a straw-yellow color that varies in intensity depending on the level of aging. The aroma is intense and persistent, while the flavor is slightly aromatic and grassy. On the palate, it’s hard, not very adhesive, quite crumbly, and soluble. The Cacio di Genazzano is making its social debut at the Welcome to the New Cheese Presidia on September 16 at 5 p.m. You’ll also find it at the Cheese Market and in the Great Hall of Cheese.

Who cares about business in August, dear Cancers? Just speak to us about matters of the heart. Let’s step forward, declare our feelings, and feel loved. The best way? An evening for two, a glass of wine, a sunset, and a grassy cheese to ignite the passion.

From Leo to Scorpio

Leo like Lincolnshire Poacher (July 23 – August 23)

It’s your month, Leo folks! The summer burns, and so does the fire that guides your sign – you’re the king of the Zodiac! But enough flattery, you don’t need it. For you, I’ve chosen the Lincolnshire Poacher cheese. It’s an unpasteurized cow’s milk cheese with a hard texture, usually cylindrical in shape, and a crust with a granitic appearance. You’ll find it at the Cheese Market, at Neal’s Yard Dairy’s stand.

What an incredible month awaits you, Leo! The stars advise: dare, break the mold, and put yourselves out there – for Leo folks, it’s like an invitation to a wedding. Let’s add a bit more fuel (or milk) to the fire. Why not try making your own cheese? You have enough self-confidence to pull it off. Ah, and if you do, bring it to Cheese – we’ll taste it together!

Virgo like vastedda from Valle del Belice (August 24 – September 22)

Meticulous, lovers of order: reading profiles of you Virgo folks doesn’t exactly get one excited… And yet, the wizard loves your ability to observe, going beyond the surface of things, your deep honesty, and your critical capacity (as long as you don’t overdo it, of course!). Plus, Cheese was born under the sign of Virgo (sometimes it’s on the cusp of Libra), how could one not adore you wholeheartedly?

The cheese I’ve chosen for you is a true dairy rarity: do the words “vastedda from Valle del Belìce, Slow Food Presidium” ring a bell? Those lucky enough to have purchased it in time will find it at a Taste Workshop dedicated to Sicilian cheeses, but fear not: the vastedda is also available at the Cheese Market, for everyone!

August promises plenty of opportunities for socializing, outings, and trips. How about returning from each of them with a new cheese in hand?

Libra like Le Bleu de Queyras (September 23 – October 22)

Libra embodies justice and beauty as your mantra. The former, even if it means challenging established rules that don’t align with your sense of fairness. The latter, symbolizing the pursuit of harmony, symmetry, and perfection.

As for your cheese, I’ve chosen one that truly celebrates beauty: the bleu de Queyras. This cheese, made from raw cow’s milk, is a semi-hard blue cheese with a wine-like aroma. Discover it at the Cheese conference “Welcome to the New Cheese Presidia” on September 16 at 5 p.m. and in the Great Hall of Cheese.

Finally, take a breather! In August, a piece of advice: enjoy life a little more without the pesky thoughts of duties and obligations. Like an animal on the pasture, do what you want, take risks, and savor the grass you prefer!

Scorpio like Stichelton (October 23 – November 22)

Scorpio: you’re clever, intelligent, with an incredible sense of humor, but also – let’s say it – a bit complex, much like the blue-veined cheeses that not everyone appreciates (and the magician can’t explain why!). What do the stars have in store for you in August, scorpionettes?

So, I had to choose a cheese that epitomizes your complexity. I’ve gone for stichelton, a raw milk blue cheese, noble yet endangered, soft, and with a hint of wine aroma. You’ll find stichelton at the Cheese Market!

Your August is bound to make you feel determined and feisty, which will surely help in your daily life and family matters. However, remember to temper your drive. Here’s a suggestion to keep it in check: pack your backpack, visit a beautiful alpine pasture, walk around, watch grazing animals, and relax by a mountain lake to unwind!

From Sagittarius to Pisces

Sagittarius like Storico Ribelle (November 23 – December 21)

If there’s a sign that never stops, it’s yours. You’re in constant motion, driven by a conquering spirit that leads you to desire and achieve unknown destinations.

For you, we could only suggest an experience of conquest, like that of Storico Ribelle, one of our most beloved cheeses. Raw milk, no additives, local breeds, summer pastures – a tribute to naturalness and beauty, available at the Cheese Market!

In August, your sky is usually not encouraging for communication and travel. Find solace in hard cheeses, including the legendary Storico Ribelle, as well as explore Comté, Cheddar, and more. Savor them with the gentle tones of Chet Baker in the background, and let your plans take shape.

Capricorn like the Kornmhel cheese of the Negev (December 22 – January 20),

Capricorn, your symbol is the ibex, making you slightly more wild and proud than our dear goats. You can reach pristine peaks, aim high, and possess a refined palate. The magician adores you!

For you, I’ve chosen a unique encounter, dedicated to desert goat cheese… from the Negev desert! Join us on September 16 at 5:30 PM at the Unisg stand to discover the dairy delights of Kornmhel Farm!

Oh, what a sky! August seems to promise a splendid time, perfect for relaxing and recovering from your efforts, broadening horizons, or even taking care of practical matters and personal projects with success and profit. Our advice: embrace your heights, breathe in the scent of flowers, head to an alpine pasture – better if accompanied – and have fun.

Aquarius like Aged Asiago (January 21 – February 19)

You’re rebels, lovers of freedom above all, allergic to jealousy, with refined minds, a bit unpredictable, sometimes unreliable… the true challenge of the zodiac.

For you, I’ve chosen Aged Asiago, a Slow Food Presidium. They say, “Good cheese is made north of the bell tower” on the Altopiano dei Sette Comuni, speaking of pastures and milk: it’s made in the mountains, with the milk of cows grazing in the alpine meadows. Come try it in the Great Hall of Cheese!

As for your August? It invites relaxation and fun, but the sky will ask you to carve out moments for reflection, to understand your needs, devise strategies, and gather the courage to turn the page on the past. Do it drastically: from now on, only alpine cheeses!

Pisces like Pecorino from Maremma (February 20 – March 20)

Perhaps for you, little fish, the Slow Fish horoscope would be more fitting. However, the magician doesn’t give up and knows the perfect cheese for your brilliance, adaptability to the unexpected, and your intense way of living – including multiple loves.

And your cheese? Discover the Slow Food Presidium of Raw Milk Pecorino from Maremma. In Maremma, the combination of livestock farming and cheesemaking in the same operation is becoming rarer, especially using raw milk. The Presidium aims to protect this production, supporting closed-cycle agricultural realities in the area. Find them at the Cheese Market!

Juggling everything is tough! Family demands, work, home. You don’t want to miss out on fun, friends, and summer evenings meant to be lived. Focus on what truly matters, like raw milk and natural cheeses.

by the magician Silvian, [email protected]

Cheese 2023 is organized by Slow Food and the City of Bra from September 15-18. See you there! #Cheese2023

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